A few more thoughts on mentoring

Wanted to share a few more thoughts on my mentoring philosophy and answer questions that readers asked.

Mentoring is a long game

Mentoring takes time. You can share all the best experience and if the other person isn't ready to hear, your advice won't land. This is fine.

6 months later they might come back and say "hey I tried that thing you mentioned, it worked!". They won't try your way until their way hurts enough.

What's in it for them

When giving advice or code feedback or any feedback, focus on how this helps the person. Explain how their life will be easier, if they try your approach. Or what new superpowers they'll get.

Remember: People don't want advice, they want better versions of themselves.

When your advice works, highlight it. Applaud your mentee for a job well done and mention how this new thing was easier/possible/cleaner/etc because of a decision they made 3 weeks ago.

Ask for help

Telling people what to do brings up their defense mechanisms. Double if you sound criticizing.

Instead ask for help. Everyone loves to help. "Hey I'm getting lost in all the work we're doing, can you help me out by keeping track in jira?"

Now they feel like a hero!

What if you have to become the expert and there is no one to learn from?

Donnie asks what to do if there's no one above you to learn from. You gotta follow The Algorithm:

Try a thing
See if it works
Adjust

You can get ideas from books, podcasts, newsletters, research papers, people in the industry, your peers. Some of the best ideas come from people who are going through the muck with you.

The tricky part is the mental load

Eike mentions that the hard part of being a lead is keeping context on all the architecture, product direction, what other teams are doing, and where everyone is at with their coaching needs.

Yes. That's the job. Writing things down helps. And trust your team to figure out the details. You don't have time anymore.

For me that feeling of half-knowing what's going on is the hardest. Be ready to dive into details when you need to, but it's no longer your job to know everything.

Think of it as vibe coding if that helps :)

How do you get here if there's already a lead occupying this space?

Tibo asks how does another senior on the team actually get to doing all those things withiut undermining the tech lead's job?

I think you can't. Not fully. You kinda have to start doing these things even if it feels redundant. That's how I got here: Told my boss "Hey I wanna grow in this direction, help me out" and started doing parts of their job.

At that point my boss had a choice: Let me or fight.

The company was growing so me pitching in was super appreciated. As I got better at it, my boss let go of their legos and let me take over.

But if they felt threatened because there was nowhere for them to go ... you can't.

Cheers,
~Swizec